STEP ONE
Do level one of Jillian Michaels' Six Week Six Pack without knowing at all what you're getting into.
STEP TWO
The next day, go for a light 1 or 2 mile jog on a treadmill with at least a 4.0 incline. Follow that with a series of your own favorite exercises, just make sure they (a) target your core, especially your lower back and buttocks, (b) involve some sort of handweights or a medicine ball (as pictured below), and (c) last for at least 10 minutes. Delude yourself into thinking that a good stretch afterwards will ensure that you'll be able to walk the next day.
STEP THREE
Because you haven't had enough -- and you're only walking like a 75 year old, not the 90 year old you were aiming for -- do level one of Jillian Michaels' Thirty Day Shred or No More Trouble Zones and collapse in agony when you're through.
Did you really think I wouldn't work in a picture of my cat?
Then ask yourself why you thought any of this was a good idea when
1) you're only about 80% recovered from the second worst sinus infection you've ever had in your life
2) you're at the tail end of a fairly lengthy bout of fatigue
3) you haven't regularly exercised since November
Not that it matters, because you've made it this far so you might as well rinse and repeat. After all, you're going to Florida in 5 weeks and you're supposed to be wearing a swimsuit.
And it probably won't look like this one:
If all else fails, however, you can always pull out the old "jeans to the beach" routine. You don't like getting sand in between your toes anyway.
